This past Tuesday morning I came down with some kind of ailment. Didn't know at the time if it was the dreaded "H1N1" virus (it wasn't) but honestly I didn't feel bad enough to really care. I didn't feel terrible, but my terrible cough and the fear of what the sickness could probably have been and whether it was contagious or not made me wary enough to work from home. I didn't get better over the next couple days and ended up just staying home. I watched some tv, answered some e-mails, slept a ton, drank copious amounts of water...and happy to announce that I'm on the mend.
It's interesting though, if I had taken a few days of vacation there's no doubt that I would have thrown myself hard into times of growth, times with the Lord, study, creative brainstorming (if that were possible, stress seems to rob me of any creative power). But since I was officially "sick", I found myself without any obligation to be productive. Weird.
It's amazing how times when I'm supposed to Sabbath or rest are the times I work the hardest socially, emotionally even spiritually sometimes. I hit a breaking point this week, I told God I was done talking.
I'm done taking every opportunity with the Lord to air my laundry list of prayers or formulating noble excuses for God's silence because my 4-second attention span doesn't yield instantaneous answers, comprehension or action plans. It can so easily become legalistic in a way to feel good about going through the motions, a satisfaction that I have done good on a certain day.
But I was done. I don't want my relationship with God to be one-sided or to become a list of habits. I want to just be in the presence of God (thanks Tom Sipling) and let that be enough. These past few days I've just been. I haven't gone head deep into disciplines or habits, I've not scheduled time in or felt obligated to do anything.
And it's been the most refreshing few days I've had in a long while. I need to get sick more often apparently...
This morning in our staff meeting I had a word spoken over me...that word prophesied that God is expanding my territory...and it couldn't have been more accurate. We're about to launch 35 racers, about to train another 90 and are recruiting 100 for the October World Race coming up later this year.
It's time to get the word out. Check out this blog: October World Race and pass it along to those who might be ready for an adventure. We're actually half way there already but need your help to double our kingdom influence in nations all over the world!
I had a talk with a good friend today. We came to a somewhat liberating if terrifying conclusion: we are addicted to answers.
It's funny, a lot of postmodern voices say that we are a generation that's okay with ambiguity but I've seen more often than not that we are frantic and desperate for answers. We develop disorders when we don't have answers; we doubt our faith when we don't have answers; our spiritual disciplines go through the roof in an attempt to ascertain a divine answer to our latest dilemma.
What a sad commentary.
I've been saying for a while now "he who needs nothing, doesn't need God." When we have all the answers, we don't need a Wonderful Counselor. When answers give us security we don't need the Prince of Peace. We demand answers because we demand control of our lives.
Do we understand yet? Control...answers...self...
God doesn't ignore our questioning...why do I insinuate that by acting like he does?
God doesn't withhold information from me...why do I accuse Him of that by entertaining anxiety?
Why can't I just live completely dependent upon the Lord? Why can't I just trust Him? At certain times in my life I've lived that way, I need to get back there somehow...it was a good way to live.
Posted in Case Studies by Jimmy McCarty on 4/25/2009
I wrote yesterday about lies. The best kind of lies are the ones that have enough truth to be believable (to say the sky is "green" is a poor lie, there's no ounce of truth to make it even partially believable). Satan is a master of truth-lies and if he can deceive us, even slightly, he can cause us to doubt the truth of God. Adam and Eve in the garden showed that to be true.
Another tactic of the enemy is skepticism. I'm amazed at how often he uses this especially within Christian communities.
The scientist is skeptical of the supernatural.
The traditionalist is skeptical of the new perspective.
The conservative is skeptical of grace.
The wounded is skeptical of change.
The educated is skeptical of decisions made by the ill-informed.
The rejected is skeptical of invitations to community.
Skepticism is just another way to define fear or control. In fact, "control" could be defined as having a root of fear – the threat of losing of something valued.
Satan keeps us in bondage by helping us choreograph a nightmare, one that gets mentally and emotionally rehearsed to near perfection. Skepticism that becomes an emotion of fear almost always has tapped into a rehearsal of a nightmare that will likely never actually occur. Pair this with the lie that the skepticism is actually righteous indignation and the devil's work is done.
So often, we believe we have the right to be defensive and that somehow God is incapable of acting on His own behalf and unless we take a stand for "righteousness", God's good name will be irreparably marred. Skepticism may, in some cases, be Holy Spirit driven – but the emotion should be one of compassion, not anger.
Remember the story where Jesus got angry and drove the merchants out of the temple. Let's remember that this is the ONLY instance of anger seen by Jesus in all of scripture. We've taken this story to justify our emotions of "anger" (which are typically "fear" and "hate", not "anger"). Jesus wasn't skeptical here, he was broken.
Strong emotional reactions usually mean something is being violated. If you feel skepticism at an act of God or at an argument you don't agree with, check your emotions – God doesn't need protecting. Allow yourself to be moved to love and compassion and see where that leads you.
Posted in Case Studies by Jimmy McCarty on 4/24/2009
Let's discuss some realities for a minute: scripture says that our enemy prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. I don't bring this up to make you paranoid but, listen, maybe you should be more paranoid...
Who is satan? Scripture defines him as the "father of lies." Deception is the principle tactic of the enemy. Exposing the deception of the enemy by shining the light of truth into the darkness is the easiest and most effective way to overcome the enemies tactics.
My friends are getting a little annoyed with me. I've discovered this new show called "Lie to Me." (I have an obsessive personality so I'm applying all the little tricks I'm learning on my friends to see if they actually work.) It's a drama on FOX TV that catalogs the stories of an organization called the Lightman Group which specializes in deception detection. They get called in by the government and other individuals to try and expose the lies told by those who typically have a lot to hide. It's fascinating to watch the cast draw conclusions from the slightest twitch, the smallest hand movement, the briefest hesitation, head nod, furrowed brow, change of tone and a host of other tells that expose emotion that is felt but may not be intended to be communicated.
I went out and bought the book written by the doctor who's research is the basis for the show and have been reading up on how complicated a "science" this really is. Deception is actually quite difficult to acknowledge with any kind of certainty! In fact, the research was never intended to relate to lie detection, it was merely a catalog of anatomical displays of emotion. A shoulder shrug means confusion, a furrowed brow and clenched lips indicate anger, raised eyebrows denote surprise. The premise is this: any time the emotion being conveyed doesn't match the content of what is being communicated: it's a lie!
It's made me realize how brilliant of an offensive tool lying really is for the devil. It's incredibly complex and even the best, most learned men and women in the world can't ever uncover deception 100% of the time. No wonder we fall prey to the devils schemes so often!
I want to give credit where credit's due: the Holy Spirit is the author of all truth. The TRUTH is: we're not victims! We're victorious – the truth has overcome the lie, the light has overcome the darkness!
I want to spend a couple blogs exposing the tactics of the enemy.
Today's tactic: Lies and Deception.
Expose the lie for what it is, embrace the truth that actually exists – take the devil's legs out at the knees and live in the light, not the darkness. The devil won't make the lie obvious – in fact it may have elements of truth mixed in! God has the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Claim it, know it, embrace it.
Do you ever have that moment when you think someone may have called out your name....but you're not quite sure...so you look around casually to see if anyone is acknowledging you or trying to catch your eye...but you don't see anyone and wonder if you just made it up or if you are confident enough in your auditory skills to look a little more fervently for the summoner?
I have one of those names. "Jimmy" for some reason sounds like a plethora of other names. It may not necessarily rhyme but it gets mistaken all the time for any other name that might end in the "mee" sound. It kind of gets annoying really, but at the risk of ignoring someone that might actually be trying to summon me, I diligently look and respond in a half-hearted "yes?" just in case.
Christians are masters at explanations. When I was at seminary I was in awe at the lengths people would go to as they would try to explain concepts they didn't fully understand. The mysteries of God are so threatening to us (though most of us secretly like it) so we try and explain it. Maybe it's a result of the curse of eating from the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil" that we always seek out an answer or solution but I'm starting to learn that sometimes I just don't want to know.
Hearing God's voice is one of those Christian disciplines we try so hard to explain, formulize and even conjure into reality. We pray, wait 2 seconds then explain that God is being "intentionally quiet" or that He's "waiting on my next move" or that somehow we've sinned and God is punishing us with His silence. It's laughable really that we think we can manipulate God into speaking, but rarely do I hear it taught that "God speaks far more than we care to listen."
In my ministry, I've begun incorporating a listening prayer discipline into my life. I operate on the basis that God speaks with the intention of me understanding and replying. I assume that God constantly wants to speak to me and lead me (even lead me into times of rest and refreshing or into times of intimacy with Him).
The passage I always here referenced to this is the time where Elijah goes in search of God's voice only to realize that God's voice was not in the wind, the storm, the noise, etc. that God was a "still small voice." We've built an entire theology around the fact that God's voice is a whisper and those of us who miss the whisper are condemned as infantile, sub-par believers ("what? Did someone say ‘Jimmy'?")
Here's my challenge: SLOW DOWN. We've committed ourselves to a relationship but taken no time to LEARN how to communicate. In America, for instance, we have totally ignored the disciplines of silence and solitude. Even our "quiet times" are spent reading, journaling, worshipping – all active disciplines. WE NEVER LISTEN.
Have you ever just sat on the couch with a cup of tea, stared off into space, let your mind stall itself out, reach a point of peace...then just listened?
God's voice is unmistakable. It's a thought, a picture (God's quite the artist by the way), a movie, an epiphany a conclusion, a name, a face, a desire, a joy, a sadness, a surprise, a mystery, a burden, something fresh, something treasured, something remembered...something special.
I've been reading Ecclesiastes this past week and it's a terribly depressing book. Chapter after chapter Solomon talks about all the wonderful things in life (beauty, friends, productivity, accomplishments, legacies, etc.) only to conclude that at the end of the day it's all completely worthless, a fruitless "chasing after the wind."
I dare say we all arrive at a similar conclusion on a micro-scale at periodic points in our lives (you know, those moments when we realize we've worked really hard for something that just didn't pan out to be everything we hoped it to be.) But if that's a hard pill to swallow, the reverse (where most of a driven generation lives) can be even more devastating.
What I'm talking about is this: we are desperate to make our lives mean something. We experience a moment of significance only to watch it sink into a mire of desperation to preserve the moment and panic that we'll never be able to replicate or top it.
We spend our lives chasing, moving, flying, clutching, grasping...
Who can survive that way? "Radical" can't mean firing on all cylinders 100% of the time. There's a real life in there somewhere. I believe there's a hybrid....that it's possible to live real life radically....but most of us will have to grieve the reality that radical real life isn't a perpetual mountain top.
But before I start sounding pessimistic, let me say that the taste of radical real life I've tasted is just as sweet...it's hard, messy, exhilarating, wonderful, horrible and raw...it's real, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't know who said that, but I've found it to be undeniably true. Sometimes change is planned, sometimes unexpected – almost always it demands something of us. Sometimes change is a relief, sometimes it's a shock, sometimes it's a terror. But whatever the case, change will come and seasons will turn.
Our WR Director Michael Hindes brought an intriguging word: "Season's don't begin with a beginning, they always begin with an ending." While birth always seems to be the logical place to begin definition of a new season, autumn always precedes winter which precedes spring, it's just the way life works.
At our WR training camps, we spend several days on this concept of grieving. The World Race is a new beginning! The new beginning can't begin until the grieving of the past has occurred. I've seen racers on the field try and begin without truly grieving the past and growth is always stunted.
More frequently than that, I've seen alumni racers end their race without truly grieving the change of seasons. As I write this I think to myself "dang, ‘grieving' is such a loaded word, can't we use something a little more optimistic?" As I sit here, I conclude from my experience the truth: ‘grieving' is exactly the write word to use here.
There's always a necessity for grieving a season where growth occurred. There's something desperate about not losing what was once so wonderful. The things we fight to learn, the obstacles we will ourselves to overcome, the truth that we glean and even the life we experience through freedom and a taste of destiny all become fiercely guarded.
We experience freedom only to dissolve back into fear that bondage is right around the corner. We experience life only to dread the thought of returning to death or sleep. We label every wilderness as the ultimate evil and sometimes back our way into them as we do everything in our power to avoid them.
If I've learned anything about seasons though, it's that they always come. Always. Winter always follows the dying season of fall. Spring always follows a season of dormancy and winter. Harvest always follows a season of growth and new beginning. The harder we strive to avoid the changes in our lives, the more discontented, disillusioned and even angry we become. Season's aren't meant to be a lifetime.
There are some seasons we force upon ourselves at the wrong time and there's elements of seasons we bottle up to try and preserve only to watch them wilt and fade. It's time to grieve the changes. Grieving is both celebrative for what was gained and sorrowful for what was lost. It's the right response, the honest response. In fact, when we look into the pain of grieving there's a glimmer of life on the other side. It's what makes the beginnings so magical and precious.
Fear of the result is always worse than the result that actually occurs. Don't miss out on a great beginning because an ending is too hard to let go of.
We're control freaks. No, seriously, it's kind of outrageous when you think about it. We're absolute control freaks. Not only will we try and control the things that happen to us, but we have back up plans for how to control our protection if something is threatening and our control begins to break down. If that doesn't work we have backup plans for that and if THOSE desperate acts of manipulation don't work, it's fight or flight baby (which is a backup plan in and of itself...so Darwinian I know...).
This past training camp, I had an epiphany.
I've felt the need for the last several years to defend the position, integrity, and reputation of Adventures in Missions and if I'm honest, defend God. I don't know what possesses me to take on these burdens (as if I truly understood what I was doing) but I work fiercely to protect the things I see as important. Not that it's all bad, but wow, the stress is unbelievable.
This past training camp we had some of the most outrageous, amazing, momentarily terrifying but truly honest and real experiences with the Lord. The Spirit of God moved through our midst in unprecedented ways. Freedom began to occur, new understandings of God began to be realized, celebrations, grievings, joy, honesty...I could go on. The fruit of our time was precious, sacred even.
When these nights happen, I get the rush of Holy-Spirit-adrenaline and just bask in the wonder of it all...until it's done. Once it's done I immediately launch into crisis management mode. "Who had a problem with this?" "How am I going to back this up?" "What are people going to say about our ministry (truth or not)?" All these management thoughts run through my head. They're not all faithless, some are pastoral, but the emotion that accompanies them carries a little trepidation.
This past camp I realized a truth that has changed everything for me. The truth isn't "I'm a people-pleaser" (though I do have those tendencies). The truth isn't "let God be your defender" (though He IS and I am learning to trust that everyday). The truth wasn't even that ground breaking...but it's given me clarity that is taking away anxiety.
Speaking in tongues is always an issue. No matter what the Spirit did (laughter, tears, dancing, worship, even people falling to the ground) nothing gets challenged the way speaking in tongues does. As a Southern Baptist kid I get it. I've seen the whole "we believe it we just don't encourage it" argument. I've heard the cessationist doctrine (I studied in seminary). And at the end of the day, I realize that the notion of tongues sounds irrational.
It's always the hardest issue to overcome, but it's always so surprising to me that the issue arises not from a conviction from Scripture but from fear of loss of control. Remember, we fear what we can't control and when our control disappears, our backup plans get haphazardly thrown into gear.
If doctrine is the stumbling block for you, I want you to listen to this. I was able at this past camp to talk through some of the core doctrinal issues on tongues with a group of racers. I feel a good understanding of audience, context and the simple facts of what Scripture says will alleviate any crutch it affords when you want to challenge the fruit of experience people have when God moves.
So here goes:
Question #1: Is tongues real?
Scripture talks frequently about tongues. Acts 2 and 4 note that the Apostles spoke in tongues, preaches in tongues, etc. Some might argue 1 Corinthians 13 but factually, it has no conclusive language to say that tongues is irrelevant for today. If you're still skeptical, talk with someone who prays in tongues and see the fruit of that discipline in their lives. It's either Satan, their flesh or the Spirit. Decide for yourself.
Question #2: Scripture never actually talks about a ‘prayer language' what's that all about?
Romans 8 talks about the Spirit groaning and uttering words we do not understand as He intercedes on our behalf. Keep in mind that the Romans were highly educated and the Roman church was well established when this epistle was written. If we are to interpret this through the lens of philosophers and scholars (as the Romans were), the Spirit inside us intercedes to the Father on our behalf. If that's what's happening then we must be the ones uttering and groaning right? It's not about the content of our prayers (though God might choose to reveal the meaning), it's about the Spirit inside us communing with the Father.
Question #3: Isn't tongues only of God when it has an interpretation?
People always throw this out and never seem to be able to refer to where this is actually listed in Scripture. So here you go: 1 Corinthians 12 refers to a list of "spiritual gifts" noted by a specific Greek word for "gift" ("charis"). These include things like healing, miracles, faith and also tongues and interpretation.
Let me pause here and suggest something: does God only heal people when someone with the gift of healing prays? What about miracles? Faith? We can infer then that if someone is given supernatural faith without necessarily having the "gift of faith", couldn't someone also be able to speak in tongues under the influence of the spirit without necessarily having the "gift of tongues"?
Another way to think of this is: is a gift for a lifetime or for a moment? If it's for a moment, then we truly have no control over when God chooses to give and have no obligation for performance.
1 Corinthians 14 spends several paragraphs talking about this whole "tongues and interpretation" issue. I want you to read carefully what 1 Corinthians 14 says. Keep in mind that the audience is an unlearned, unestablished church. They are at the very beginning stages of their spiritual journeys and establishing any kind of system needed guidelines. The verse clearly states that if someone speaks in church there must be an interpretation. Think through this scenario: God gives a word to an individual while the body of Christ is assembled. The intent is to build up the body (though Paul admonishes elsewhere that prophecy is better for this) and is a direct word to a congregation. This is different than a prayer uttered to the Lord by the Spirit inside us.
My epiphany is this: I don't think I have the gift of tongues. I think I allow the Spirit of God to pray on my behalf, but not once have I felt the Lord call me to give a word to a body in a tongue. Following this to its logical conclusion, praying in tongues doesn't fall under the guidelines of 1 Corinthians 14 because it's not directed to an individual or body where an interpretation gives the tongue meaning, credibility and accountability.
Question #4: If it's alright for us all to chatter away in tongues as long as we're praying, it feels chaotic, isn't God a God of order and peace?
My question back is this: when then is passionate prayer appropriate? If the community operates in freedom and in unity, then prayer should be passionate. Can God not hear our prayers even if we utter them at the same time? Christians all over the world pray like this but Americans tend to have the utmost of concern for this method of prayer. Even in English, praying in a "concert of prayer" can be a faith-building, life-giving thing. The principle is not "order vs no order" it's about freedom, loving one another, and refusing to venture down the road to judgment and legalism. Is there a threshold where we're simply babbling in our own pride? Absolutely. Is that why we live in a community that has permission to bring correction and guidance? Absolutely. Is the answer to mandate that the only way to pray is reverently in a circle listening to one voice hear from the Lord at a time? God forbid.
I know this is long for a blog post. But it's been burning in my heart the last week or so. Judge the fruit. God is a redeemer and like I told the racers last week repeatedly: God works in spite of us and our best efforts. Our community is one where it's okay to try and fail, where it's okay to make a mistake. I told one racer that "God's a big boy." He doesn't want our defense, He wants our obedience. Defensiveness is just another assertion of control...God wants that too.
Today is my day off. It's the first day off I've had in 15 days...I'm not tired per se, but reflective, re-energizing and remembering.
Another Training Camp is over. My fourth since I've worked at AIM, the first of the 4 I will direct this year. Another 34 men and women have been empowered with everything I can possibly think of to journey around the world walking in the power of the Holy Spirit to deliver hope to the nations.
Training Camp is a hopeless bait and switch. I can't help it. There's no way to prepare for what God does at camp. Even coming out on the back end, I'm still tongue-tied to answer the inevitable question: "how was camp?" The truth is, camp was awesome. It was hard, had it's very low lows, had it's incredible highs and was exactly what God intended. I'm blessed to work alongside some wise, gifted, Spirit-empowered individuals. I'm honored to serve a leader who has a vision far greater than mine and who takes time away to love me as a person not as an employee. I'm blessed that God chose me to be here right now, I don't deserve it.
If you read the "Last 100 Blogs" on the World Race home page you'll see littered throughout the blog reports of the 34 individuals who had their lives wrecked this past week. While every camp deals with the emotional baggage, hurt, wounds and scars from the past, no group I've trained has engaged in the grieving process the way this group did. God gave me a prophetic word for this squad: "those who have been forgiven little, love little; those who have been forgiven much, love much." This group is taking it to the next level and they're doing it through brokenness...
I'm always amazed at how Satan tries to attack the kingdom shaking efforts we engage in. My team who has done several rounds of camp with me now, know that about 2-3 weeks out we have to start preparing ourselves for the onslaught of the enemy. Our minds, hearts, emotions, moods, relationships, families, etc. all seem to come under strain, stress, turmoil or attack as we lead into camp. It's so blatantly obvious I've stopped trying to explain it away as coincidence. As we take the necessary precautions to pray protection over ourselves, our leaders, our community, etc. we start noticing the tactics changing. This time it was vehicles. Don't ask me why, but cars that have run smoothly for months on end all broke down at the same time (not kidding people at least 6-7 vehicles simultaneously needed repairs the week before camp started).
Even at the conclusion of camp, devastating news from a sister department in AIM hits us and we launch back into action tired or not. It's worth every struggle to see the lives changed and the kingdom rocked. I understand in a profound way Paul's confession that he has "poured himself out as a drink offering". The great thing is, an empty glass sits waiting to be filled and it's no better time to allow the Spirit to fill again with HIS power, HIS strength, HIS perseverance.
In only 7-8 weeks another camp has to come together, this time with 3 times as many participants. God is faithful. Thanks for your prayers and partnership in the kingdom. It's the most wonderful thing I can think of doing with my life right now.
